Love doesn’t hurt you. A person that doesn’t know how to love you hurts you

– Tony Gaskins Jr

Two weeks passed since I found out Jhavier the father of my unborn child and my boyfriend was soliciting sex online. We still lived together, and I tried to move passed our first disastrous incident with domestic violence.

 It was Memorial Day weekend and my sister invited me to her house for a cookout, and I jumped at the offer. I needed to get away from Jhavier even if it was just one day. Although he was apologetic and promised to get anger management and go to therapy I still didn’t feel 100 percent safe around him anymore.

  I went to the party, and I came home. I could see that Jhavier was upset about something, but I didn’t care. I went into the bedroom and went straight to sleep. The next morning Jhavier woke me up bright and earlier, and I just knew that we weren’t going to have a good day.

“Get up we need to clean this apartment” he said.

“The apartment isn’t dirty just wash the dished I’m tired” I said

“You wouldn’t be tired if you didn’t stay out all night partying” he said with an evil smirk.

I decided I was not going to argue with him. I was pregnant and sleepy. The only way I was getting out of the bed is if the whole apartment caught on fire. I just turned over and attempted to go back to sleep. That was until I heard my dog Mobley screaming and barking. I could tell something was very wrong. I jumped out of bed, and went into the living room.

Jhavier was beating Mobley with a broom. Mobley was a small dog and he couldn’t have weighed more than 15 pounds so those blows to his back really hurt him, and they hurt me because I loved that dog so much. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for Jhavier to stop. He was so angry and his soul left his body, because the Jhavier I knew was gone. Jhavier didn’t even look the same he looked demonic as if he was possessed by and evil spirit. I thought he was going to kill my dog. Mobley starting to defecate everywhere as he attempted to run from Jhavier. Mobley jumped on the couch and Jhavier dropped the broom and started punching him in his little body. I grabbed Mobley trying to save him from the vicious blows, and Jhavier ended up punching me twice on accident because he missed Mobley. I had enough. My dog was crying, hurt and embarrassed because he pooped all over himself.  I was hurt. Honestly I knew that Jhaiver was jealous of all the love and attention I gave Mobley, but I never thought in a million years he would beat my dog. I loved that dog with all my heart.

I ran with Mobley into the bathroom locked the door and called 911. I told the 911 operator that my boyfriend was hitting me and my dog and to send someone as soon as possible. I still had my dog’s feces on me as I stood in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror with disbelief. I was too hurt to even think straight or to really digest what just happened to me.

15 minutes later my cousin, who was also my neighbor called to tell me that there were Baltimore City Police officers outside of the apartment. I left the apartment to meet the police officers outside. I explained to the police that the Jhavier and I got into an argument, he beat my dog, and accidentally punched me trying to hurt the dog.  One of the officers explained to me that because Jhavier lived with me for longer than 30 days Maryland law stated that I just couldn’t put him out even if he wasn’t listed on the lease. The office informed me that because Jhavier punched me on accident he wouldn’t be charged with assault. I literally was heartbroken because there was nothing that I could do at this point. The law seemed to be on Jhavier’s side.

The officer went into the apartment to talk to Jhavier. In true Jhaiver fashion he tried to not take any responsibility for the incident blaming everything on Mobley. He stated Mobley urinated on his clothes, and that was the reason for the beating.  I yelled “He is lying that is not true”.

“Don’t talk to each other” the cop said.

“You see how she is officer” Jhavier said to the cop. However the cop seemed angry with Jhavier.

“Don’t talk to me. I know your type and I know what you’re about. I could charge you with animal cruelty and give you a 500 dollar fine now. You’re lucky I didn’t charge you with assault for hitting her” the cop said.

“She said I hit her” Jhavier said with disbelief.

“You did hit me on accident while you were trying to hit the dog” I said back.

“But you know I didn’t mean to punch you” Jhavier said.

“Stop talking to each other. Maybe one of you should leave this apartment because if I have to come back out here one of you will be arrested” the cop said.

“Ok sir” Jhavier said trying to be smart.

“What are you going to do?” asked the cop.

“I’ll leave and go to my cousin’s apartment. I’m done with this situation and done with him” I said.

“What about you?” the cop asked Jhavier.

The weirdest thing was as I was saying that I was done Jhavier looked hurt. He almost looked like he couldn’t believe I was saying it out loud to another person.

“She can leave I’m done with her too” Jhavier said making an evil face.

“Ok well leave it at that. And like I said if I have to come back out here today someone will be arrested” the cop said, and he and I started leaving the apartment.

The officer stopped me on the steps of the apartment.

“You can go down to Charles Streetand start the eviction process to get him out. You said you were pregnant I would think twice before I made any decisions with him. He showed you that this is who he is, and you have to ask yourself if you’re ready to deal with that the rest of your life” the officer said to me before leaving without even giving Jhavier a slap on the wrist.

The officer did make me think a lot about my situation. He didn’t outright say that I should get an abortion, but he definitely hinted at it. He probably was right the smart thing to do would be to get an abortion, but at the time I didn’t know if I could go through with it. I didn’t know if I could live with myself after getting an abortion. I had so much to think about I didn’t know what to do.

I hung out at my cousin’s apartment for a bit and talked to her. She is like an older sister to me so talking to her helped me clear my mind. After a couple hours at her apartment I decided to go home. When I got back to my apartment Jhavier was on the phone with his sister. Thing were weird between us, but we didn’t talk. We both knew that things would never be the same, because I called the police on him.  This would be the beginning to a very painful breakup between Jhavier and myself.