Jhavier made me hot dogs and eggs smothered in ketchup for breakfast. I was pregnant and concerned about eating healthy that I didn’t want hot dogs, I really don’t like eggs and I hate when people pour condiments all over my food.
“I wanted to do something nice for you. I don’t know how things got so bad between us Janay. You just know how to push my buttons” Jhavier said.
“Thank you, but I’m not hungry” I forced myself to say with a smile.
As soon as the words left my mouth Jhavier threw the whole plate at me. Ketchup, eggs, and chopped up hot dogs landed all over my bed, and all I could think was I can’t have his baby. I didn’t have the energy to fight back or clean up the mess. I just cried. I wasn’t crying because he hurt me I was crying because I was mad. I hated myself for getting pregnant by a man that couldn’t control his anger. I hated myself and I hated Jhavier. I hated myself more than anything.
One hour later I still sat in the mess crying and trying to figure out how I would get away from Jhavier for good. Enough was enough and I couldn’t take anymore. Jhavier started feeling bad and apologized. He explained that he was upset about me being ungrateful. He explained he was trying to get us back to how things were when we first met, but he didn’t feel like I loved him anymore. I reassured him that I did love him, and I was willing to try to make things work. It was time for him to go to work and I was excited to see him go. He kissed me on my forehead and left out the back door.
When Jhavier came home from work we didn’t speak. I stayed in the bedroom and he went to sleep on the couch. I couldn’t sleep. I was too sad to sleep. I was a broken women pregnant by a man who didn’t love, respect or value her, and that thought made me physically sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and vomited, and then I laid back down. Jhavier woke up and came to the bedroom. I thought he was checking on me to make sure I was okay, but boy was I wrong.
The next thing I knew Jhavier was standing over me pouring water from the dirty dish bucket all over me. I was soaked from head to toe, and I was furious. Enough was enough I couldn’t allow Jhavier to disrespect me any longer. I leaped off that bed like a raging bull trying to attack Jhavier for throwing the water on me, but he threw me back on the bed. He knocked my glasses off my face, threw my phone, and then turned the light off in the bedroom. I was so scared, because I did not know what Jhavier was planning to do, however I had a bad feeling. He shut all the windows in the room, and I thought to myself he doesn’t want people to hear me scream.
“You have to leave I just can’t live like this anymore Jhaiver. Please just go” I cried nervously.
“I would leave but I can’t you pregnant remember, and you don’t have a job. Your sick you need money for your medicine. You’re really a dumb bitch” he said.
“I don’t need you I can find another man to take care of me and my baby” I said.
I shouldn’t have said that, and I knew it the moment the words left my mouth, but it was too late. Jhavier leaped on top of me hitting me in my stomach repeatedly. I was screaming to the top of my lungs trying to fight back. I needed someone to hear me and save me. “I’m still pregnant” I yelled. “I’m pregnant” I yelled again and again. I was trying to stomp my feet on the floor and I just kept yelling. It felt like he was on top of me hitting me forever. It was dark in that room, but I could see the evil in his eyes.
My cousin who was also my downstairs neighbor came banging on the door. “Let me cousin go I called the police she said”. She came there just in time because Jhavier may have killed me, or my baby. Jhavier got off me and ran once he heard my cousin. I could already hear the police outside they had the apartment surrounded. The police where everywhere and I could hear Jhavier try to run out the back. The police got him.
One officer came to me and asked me what I wanted to do. I told him that I wanted to press charges on Jhavier. He was acting like a wild animal and I was sure that he would have killed me in that apartment if my cousin didn’t call the police.
“Are you sure you want to press charges. If you do you will be required to go to court” the police said.
I felt like he didn’t want me to press charges. I felt like he was talking to me like he thought I was another dumb girl in a domestic violence situation.
“Yes I want to press charges. He needs to go to jail” I said.
“Then you will need to give a written statement” the policeman said. I wrote a statement and he gave me instructions on how to get a temporary restraining order.
“Do you need medical attention? Do you want to go to the hospital?” the cop asked. I should’ve went to the hospital, but I didn’t want to all I wanted to do was sleep. I was still in shock and I couldn’t admit to myself that I put my baby in harm’s way. I knew that Jhavier was violent and I stayed. I hated myself, and I wasn’t ready to sit in a hospital full of people judging me.
“No I’ll be fine” I said on the verge of tears. The officer asked me a few questions that they ask people involved in domestic violence situations. To my surprise I answered yes to all the questions I was really an abused woman.
When I went back to my apartment and the back door was still open. It took me awhile to find my glasses and my phone and once I did I feel asleep on the couch still wearing my wet shirt.
That night I would toss and turn in my sleep wondering if Jhavier would get out of jail. I was scared and nervous I didn’t want to see him ever again. I thought about my actions and the role I had played in situation. Yes I was wrong for saying that to Jhavier, but that didn’t give him a reason to hit me. He was hitting me in my stomach it was all just too much for me to take in at that moment.
The next morning I would texted my friends and family and told them that Jhavier was arrested. Things only got worst from there.
